Spiritual Meltdown

As a part of my spiritual self-examination it was easy to come up with a list of all the things that were making me unhappy. I did a good job of evaluating my life. I knew all the things that displeased me. Why did I just feel worse? I prayed for these things to improve, but the longer I waited the more worked up I got. Surely all of this could be worked out. This whole situation was becoming more and more distressing. Why was it taking so long to clear the slate? I've been praying for over a week now. Then I realized I was closing in a "spiritual meltdown."
A "spiritual meltdown" is a period in your life when you realize that your personal life is spiraling out of control and you know that your relationship with God is incomplete. So far all of this self-examination was one sided. I was forgetting that if you really want God to be in control you first have to give him permission. Until that time, he'll be quite content to let your free will guide you. Next, you must be willing to accept God's settlement. Sometime problems are resolved in a totally different manner than what you expected. Finally, you have to search out your role in this life process and except it for what it is. Forget the complaining and the whining. You will ultimately realize the solution and can rejoice in the knowledge that his is his plan and it is good. Life's solutions take time that is why Lent lasts for 40 days.
Be calm. Be Patient. Wait.

Lent or a Can of Coke

We live in a world where we want results now. We want instant gratification. We as Christians are in the season on the church calendar known as Lent. It is supposed to be a time of serious, disciplined self-evaluation. To most people it is simply a time to give up some material thing. That is easy a simple, well-defined task that is easy to track. For the past few years I have tried the idea of serious self-examination. This year I have decided to record this examination. Let me tell you, the deeper I evaluate, the more defeated I feel. I pray the prayers but I am finding letting go of things that are troubling to me is harder than giving up a can of soda. I pray for strength and guidance to solve these rough spots and expect immediate results. Then I stop and reflect on the complexities of those things I am praying for. I forget to consider the free will factor. We find ourselves far from total surrender.
I know that when I completely turn a situation over to God it will be taken care of but I have to be aware of his plan and his solution. What is he saying to me? What is my role in his plan? The answers to our most pressing problems are way more complex than counting cans of pop.
So at least for now for me lent will continue to be a solemn time of listening and waiting and following as I continue to seek answers. Faith tells us that through prayer and scripture his solutions will be revealed.

Haiti Mission Trip

Today we learn about Haiti. One of the youth ministers from one of our parish churches presented information about a late spring mission trip to Haiti. Four of our students will be joining other from their church on a trip to help in the continuing rebuilding effort in this country that was destroyed by an earthquake over a year ago. While only four students will be making the journey to Haiti there is much we can do as a part of our Lenten observance to assist in this project. Possibly student and faculty effort will become a part of our sharing wall.
The wall panel is being installed today and will be ready for student entries. One of the religion teachers has commended the project already. We will have a priest bless the wall in the near future. Look for daily updates on the wall.

God's Changes

If this is your first visit to the site, please read the first two posts for an introduction to the blog.Alex, the film maker got his first request for support from a couple of students who needed assistance with a computer project. I told him that was the price he has to pay for notoriety.
Sunday church seemed more solemn than usual. The appearances of the church with its stripped alter and other physical and visual alternation associated with the Lenten season frames a sacred and spiritual picture. One senses feelings of sorrow, guilt, and even pain. This time in our church year is difficult for many. The economy and the general state of the nation are providing challenges for all of us. Some seem to have real difficulties in letting go. It is my Lenten prayer that I can let go of those things that are troubling my life and that as a community of faith the solemn attitudes will be replaced with those of peace as we approach Easter.
Just sitting and observing the world around you provides you the opportunity to notice God’s work in progress. The weather is gray and rainy. As I sit in my dining room looking out the window at the birds at the feeders I notice a weeping willow in the neighbor’s yard. The warm weather of late winter has allowed it to bud but it still is bare. As I continue to monitor the birds off and on throughout the afternoon, I notice the tree is turning green. The rain continues and by eveing the tree has greened out completely. This is an example of a change in God’s world.
God makes changes in our lives just like he changed that weeping willow.

High School Film Festival

It was movie time at school yesterday. The film festival was the effort of Alex. Alex is a freshman at school and a little different, a little hard to understand, but the film festival did a lot to change that. Making a movie is hard, harder than most realize. There were only three entries. One was made by the school’s media class, one by the school’s business class, and both had teacher assistance. The third was presented by Alex. Did I mention computers are his life? Alex's movie was an individual effort telling his story. During the presentation he received much deserved recognition as he presented his quirky life in entertaining fashion. He stuck with a theme, presenting himself, had good video, clear audio, and good music, a complete package. He was up against all of the popularity of the school. His simple story, presented in a professional manner was enough for him to win the competition. He presented himself to a doubting audience and showed his ability in his area of interest. I think he scored big with his classmates.

Yesterday was also our faculty retreat. The presenter was one of our local parish priests who are from Haiti. The theme of his presentation was “Teachers Influence Lives Forever.” That was special for me as those words are on my mom’s tombstone. His message as was my mom’s is that caring is a major part of teaching. Hearing that message was a salute to all teachers but a special salute to mom

Lent Day 3

If this is your visit to the blog, be sure and read the very early posts. This will provide you with the circumstances that inspired its creation.

Here it is, day three of lent and I am already behind in my attempt to post daily. I guess the lesson is God's schedule doesn't always match our schedule, and to realize his schedule requires us to be aware and to be patient.
First, last night I attended a meeting about watershed and water quality. The presenter said that he recently met with a group of agri-business people about regulations the DNR was proposing. After the meeting he was talking with those who participated and posed the question,” What would you do if the DNR required all of the proposed regulations.”
The spokesman for the farmers said, "I guess we would comply, but we all know that there are things we can all do better. If each of us would improve on what we know we can do, think of the positive influence it would have on our communities."

There is a Lenten message here. We use the day of Lent to evaluate our lives and identify those things we need to improve on. We improve those areas of our lives that need renewal. Think of the positive results this would have on our Christian community and the world as a whole.
Next, the Joplin Area Catholic Schools held an all school mass on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. The Bishop was the celebrant. It was inspiring to see a church full of young people and witness their passion for their beliefs. My overall impression of the gathering was one of Christian love. Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season immediately followed. As I watch the students returning from Ash Wednesday mass, and idea began to develop. What kind of activity could we present to these youngsters that would allow then to participate in the Lenten Experience? Yes, I know we all can give up something, but if that's as far as it goes, what have we accomplished. We are charges with the responsibility of educating young adults. We need a project that goes to the heart of Lent. When I directed Christian education I would often time suggest a Lenten journal but I now realize that is a huge commitment for even the most devout. The idea of a Sharing Wall began to develop. This would involve securing a wall at our school. Next, we cover the area with a medium that would allow students to share their experiences. We then provide a writing utensil. My vision is to take the blank wall and let it develop into an area of Christian sharing, Christian growth.
I had a meeting with the art teacher. She shares my excitement for this project. She is covering a large canvas that we will be place in the center of the wall to collect written comments. The remainder of the wall will be available for drawings, poems, photos or any other type of sharing.
We received permission to continue with the project from our principal and he suggested that the wall should be blessed. That is where we stand. This blog will continue to report the development of "the wall"

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday
As a part of lent this year and continuing through Easter, I will be posting on this blog every day. These posts will be reflections on daily occurrences in my life. My hope is that I can observe a Lenten season that allows for personal growth and growth in those whom I might influence.
Today I attended the Ash Wednesday service at my home Episcopal Church. The students attend mass at the Catholic Church. This should set the stage for future discussions in regard to lent.
Today we welcome back Sr. Joan. She has been absent from us since Thanksgiving break recovering first from cancer surgery and finally a long scary recovery from an infection. To head off depression she said the hospital counselor asks her to think of something that would make her happy. She said she visualized returning to her students at school. Our student gave her a genuine welcome back. What a great gift from God on the first day of lent.

I spent some time locating some resources that might help stimulate discussion for the season. I have generated resources for use at home as well as school. I would like to offer small notebooks for Lenten reflections, and I would like to offer wall space for students to write down Lenten offerings to share with the student body. That means a trip to the store