We live in a world where we want results now. We want instant gratification. We as Christians are in the season on the church calendar known as Lent. It is supposed to be a time of serious, disciplined self-evaluation. To most people it is simply a time to give up some material thing. That is easy a simple, well-defined task that is easy to track. For the past few years I have tried the idea of serious self-examination. This year I have decided to record this examination. Let me tell you, the deeper I evaluate, the more defeated I feel. I pray the prayers but I am finding letting go of things that are troubling to me is harder than giving up a can of soda. I pray for strength and guidance to solve these rough spots and expect immediate results. Then I stop and reflect on the complexities of those things I am praying for. I forget to consider the free will factor. We find ourselves far from total surrender.
I know that when I completely turn a situation over to God it will be taken care of but I have to be aware of his plan and his solution. What is he saying to me? What is my role in his plan? The answers to our most pressing problems are way more complex than counting cans of pop.
So at least for now for me lent will continue to be a solemn time of listening and waiting and following as I continue to seek answers. Faith tells us that through prayer and scripture his solutions will be revealed.
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